In a healthy relationship, both parties should feel free to be themselves. However, that is not an excuse for the absence of boundaries. Even the closest relationships benefit from an established set of guidelines and rules. Just what are boundaries, why are they so important for your mental health, and how can you establish them? This blog post explains.
What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries are rules or limits that you establish to protect yourself. These can relate to many aspects of your life, including things like your material belongings, your conversations, your time, and sexual activity with your partner.
A few examples of boundaries include:
- Refusing to engage in conversations about things that make you uncomfortable. (For example, diet talk might be harmful for someone who is struggling with an eating disorder.)
- Asking someone to return an item they borrowed.
- Saying no to social invitations.
- Defining consent and proper conduct during physical intimacy.
How Boundaries Benefit Relationships
Boundaries are not meant to create divisions in relationships. Rather, they promote mutual respect and foster feelings of closeness. For example, certain boundaries may make you feel safer, which means you can relax around people who accept those boundaries. In turn, you may want to spend more time with them.
Also, if a person respects your boundaries, you may choose to adjust or remove certain boundaries as your relationship deepens and becomes more trusting. (As an example, you might choose to converse about things that you previously would not talk about.) This creates a pathway toward greater intimacy and respect.
Of course, some individuals may choose not to accept your boundaries. If no reasonable compromise can be reached, the best thing may be to end or limit that particular relationship.
Establishing Boundaries
Establishing boundaries is not always easy. Here are a few tips that might help:
- Analyze what makes you feel comfortable/uncomfortable. What boundaries do you already have in place? What boundaries would you like to set up? It is okay if you adjust your boundaries later on.
- Think about how to communicate your boundaries. Your friends, partner, and workmates should not be expected to automatically know your boundaries, especially if they are different from their own. Try to respectfully communicate your expectations for healthy and trusting relationships.
- Seek help if necessary. Shyness, past trauma, anxiety, and other factors can make it difficult to define and adhere to proper boundaries. A qualified therapist may be able to help you work through such issues.
Healthy boundaries lead to healthy relationships! Working on this aspect of your relationships could lead to improved mental health.
Meet the Embrace Team
Here at Embrace Psychiatric Wellness Center, we are proud to be home to a highly skilled team of mental health professionals. Using a combination of techniques, we are often able to help patients overcome a range of challenges, leading to improved relationships and many other benefits. If you would like to learn more about us and the services we provide, get in touch at 908-233-8065.
